The cursed road to Heartbreak
Every good adventure needs a curse, and ours started the moment we pointed the moho west out of Mount Isa.
We’d heard about the Lost Cities from a mate, the kind of tip that comes with a look and a lowered voice. “You have to see them. Worth the drive.” Ancient sandstone towers rising out of the scrub near Cape Crawford, so strange and ruined-looking they’ve been named for cities that never existed. We didn’t need much more convincing. We stocked up, aimed the wheels towards Borroloola, and set off chasing them.
What we didn’t know was that the road out there had other ideas. Rain, mud, plagues of insects, and a mysterious affliction visited upon poor Neil. It was all, as you’ll see, somewhat easily explained. But at the time, bouncing along one of the worst roads in the country while everything slowly stopped working, it felt distinctly cursed. Very Indiana Jones. So allow us the melodrama, because the story’s more fun that way.
The First Omen
We spent two days in Mount Isa doing the sensible things, filling the tanks, filling the fridge, filling every gap with the supplies you learn to hoard before heading somewhere remote. Then we turned west toward Barkly Station via Camooweal, feeling well organised and pleased with ourselves.
That was our first mistake.
At our first stop, Camooweal Billabong, the moho was swarmed. Not just the usual mozzie escort…everything. Every winged, crawling, bewildering species the area had to offer found its way inside our home, as though someone had rung a bell and declared the buffet open. We swatted, we sealed, we questioned our life choices. If you’re the superstitious type, you might have called it a sign.
We are not the superstitious type. (We’re now reconsidering.)
Trial by Water
Then came the rain.
June is meant to be the dry season out here; that’s the whole point of travelling then. But the Barkly hadn’t read the brochure. An unusual deluge turned the whole country to mud, flooded the campsite, and pinned us at the Barkly Roadhouse for three days while we waited for the land to firm up enough to travel.
There are worse places to be stranded. Barkly Homestead Roadhouse sits at the junction of the Barkly and Tablelands Highways, a genuine oasis in a vast expanse. Fuel, a bar, hot showers, a pool, powered sites, and hospitality that makes sense when you understand how far it is to anywhere else. We watched the rain come down, let Zoe stretch her legs between showers, and did the slow-travel thing we’re always banging on about: we waited. When the country tells you to stop, you stop. Bogging a five-tonne motorhome to its axles in red sticky mud is not the flex it sounds like.
The Gauntlet
Eventually, the ground dried up, and we committed to the Tablelands Highway.
"Highway" is doing an enormous amount of work in the name of this road. What it actually is: a single lane of bitumen, barely wider than the moho, edged by soft red shoulders just waiting to swallow a tyre. And it threw everything at us. Bone-jarring potholes. Washouts. Cattle on the road, cattle poop on the road, cattle regarding us with open contempt from the road. Emus doing their panicked sideways sprint. Road trains that own the place, which means easing off the bitumen onto the treacherous shoulder and praying while fifty-three metres of cattle truck thunders past.
Six hours. That’s what it took us to cover the 300 kilometres from Barkly to Heartbreak. Do the maths, and you’ll understand how tiring this journey was.
We’d hoped to break it up at one of the free camps marked along the way, but most were so overgrown and inaccessible we couldn’t get the moho in, so we just kept going, and going, until our patience started to fade and we were running on fumes and stubbornness.
The Curse Strikes
And then, at last, Heartbreak Hotel, the roadhouse at Cape Crawford, and yes, that’s its real name.
We limped in tired, dusty and desperate for a hot shower. A hearty meal and that shower did their work, and we started to feel human again, ready to finally go hunting for our Lost Cities in the morning.
The curse had one last card to play.
Our gas and water sensors, all of them, chose that precise moment to mysteriously stop working! So Neil, being Neil, crawled underneath the moho to investigate. He emerged a while later with no diagnosis, covered in red dust and something new: a strange, angry rash spreading across his back. Plant-based, it turned out. Entirely explainable. But in the moment? A man crawls beneath the machine to lift the curse, only to emerge marked by the ancients.
Tell me that’s not straight out of an Indiana Jones film. Stay tuned for our visit to the Lost Cities, which was definitely NOT cursed, especially as we were getting there in a metal tube with a fan strapped to the roof!
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Barkly Homestead Roadhouse
Barkly Homestead sits at the junction of the Barkly and Tablelands Highways. Fuel, a bar and bistro, hot showers, a pool, and powered and unpowered sites make it the natural place to break the run across the Barkly Tableland, or, in our case, to sit out three days of unexpected rain. It’s remote enough that you understand the hospitality the moment you arrive.
Heartbreak Hotel
The roadhouse at Cape Crawford, at the junction of the Carpentaria and Tablelands Highways, is the closest base for visiting the Lost Cities. Meals, fuel, cold drinks, showers, camping, are a welcome sight after the long haul up the Tablelands Highway.
How to Get There
From Mount Isa, head west along the Barkly Highway to Barkly Homestead, a roughly 450-kilometre, fully sealed route to the Barkly Roadhouse.
From there, the Tablelands Highway runs north to Cape Crawford, approximately 300 kilometres of single-lane sealed road that is rough in patches, prone to washouts after rain and shared with road trains and wandering cattle. Allow far more time than the distance suggests. It took us six hours. Fuel up at Barkly Homestead before you commit, as there is nothing in between.
What to See / Tours / Activities
What we did:
Stocked up in Mount Isa before heading remote.
Camped at Barkly Homestead Roadhouse and waited out three days of rain.
Drove the Tablelands Highway north to Cape Crawford.
Based ourselves at Heartbreak Hotel, ready to explore the Lost Cities.
Other highlights nearby:
The Lost Cities near Cape Crawford, the sandstone formations that drew us out here (more on those in the next post).
Borroloola and the McArthur River, further north toward the Gulf.
Caranbirini Conservation Reserve, with its own dramatic sandstone spires.
When to Visit
Aim for the dry season, roughly May to September, and then hold that plan loosely. Our June washout is proof that the Barkly region writes its own weather. If rain is in the forecast, add buffer days and don’t be too impatient to sit tight at a roadhouse. The roads out here go from rough but fine to impassable faster than you’d think, and a bogged motorhome or caravan is a very expensive lesson.
Final Thoughts
We made it. Battered, itchy, three days behind schedule and running on the last of our patience, but we made it. And somewhere out past Heartbreak, in the scrub near Cape Crawford, the reason for all of it was waiting. Towers of stone that look for all the world like the ruins of a city that time forgot. Whether the curse was real or just the ordinary chaos of the outback dressed up in an Indiana Jones hat, we’ll let you decide once you’ve seen the photographs, in our next post.
What’s Nearby
We came to Heartbreak via Mount Isa, Camooweal and Barkly Homestead, having spent the previous week chasing the Min Min Lights around Boulia. From here the road runs north to the Lost Cities and on toward Borroloola and the Gulf, which is where we’re headed next.
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Fast Facts
Location: Cape Crawford / Barkly Tableland, Northern Territory
Distance: Barkly Homestead is approx. 450km west of Mount Isa; Cape Crawford is approx. 300km north of Barkly Homestead via the Tablelands Highway
Traditional Owners: Wakaya, Warumungu, Wambaya, Ngandji and Binbinga Country
Access: Sealed throughout; the Tablelands Highway is single-lane and rough, with washouts after rain
Facilities: Fuel, meals, showers and camping at Barkly Homestead and Heartbreak Hotel; nothing in between
Best Time to Visit: May to September (dry season)
Dog Friendly: Yes at both roadhouses (on lead; check individual sites)
Things That Could Kill You (Probably Won’t)
A semi-serious guide to surviving Australia. Mostly common sense, occasionally luck.
Red sticky mud: The axle-deep, tow-truck-summoning kind. Respect the rain and don’t drive on wet unsealed shoulders.
Road trains: They don’t move over. You do. Ease off, let them pass, and watch for the second and third trailers.
Mystery rashes: Watch what you crawl through under the van. Ask Neil.
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Every expedition needs a curse, and ours began the moment we left Mount Isa chasing the Lost Cities. Plagues of bugs, biblical rain, a brutal road, and a mysterious rash.